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Achieving Goals When You Need To Do Things Differently

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Achieving Goals DIfferently

Do you have big goals, but you're limited by time, energy or health? As someone with ME/CFS, I totally hear you.

Let me start by saying this – Just because you might need a little longer to process things or to understand things, it doesn’t mean you’re not capable or that you’re never going to achieve your goals!

The issue is most likely in the way you’re being shown to do something, where fitting in a box isn’t quite working for you anymore.

And anyway, where does this belief around achieving goals that “if we don’t do everything as quickly as possible we’re failing” come from? In my years as a teacher & as a mum, it’s ridiculous to think of everyone as the same.

We all process things differently & if there’s any neurodiversity thrown in the mix – a one-size-fits-all definitely isn’t going to be the answer for you!

In this blog I talk about my own experiences, and look some key steps to achieving goals when it doesn't feel possible.

*Affiliate Disclosure: Some links in this post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase something via the link, I may receive a small commission. This doesn't affect the price you pay.

If you have any questions, reach out for a chat [email protected] or check out my other blogs

Am I Stupid? When Achieving Goals Feels Impossible

I always thought I was stupid in academic terms. It just never came easy to me. I used to be good with maths, and words, and once I practiced something until I understood it, I became competent at it. But in hindsight, the learning was where I struggled the most. 

The way that it was taught – the teacher standing and explaining things that may as well have been said in a different language, inside panicking because I had no idea what on earth I was supposed to be writing.

Plus, in those days ritual humiliation by the teachers was a real threat (that or the wooden chalk rubber launched at you…), leaving you terrified to ask them to repeat it because it hadn’t quite “gone in”

You know inside that you’re not stupid, but you feel like you are in these moments because the teaching method didn’t fit your learning needs. 

As a university student I remember leaving lectures with my two friends. I would listen to them discussing what had just been covered in the lectures, and I honestly had little to no idea what they were talking about.

I again began to feel very stupid, and I spoke up less and less during these discussions because I felt like I hadn’t understood it correctly, or that what I was going to contribute wouldn’t make sense, and would be wildly out of context.

The reason I knew inside that I wasn’t stupid even though I felt it, was because when I took the time to sit and learn what I needed to, I was able to absorb it and finally understand it. I achieved a 2:1 (hons) for that degree, despite never feeling like I knew anything!

However, I still didn’t understand that I processed things differently than others. I just knew that I had to really work to achieve those results because it didn’t come naturally to me. 

It’s only been over the past couple of years as I worked towards my Masters Degree, and began growing my coaching business that it made a lot more sense. 

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Download your free copy of the Thought Shifting Mini Journal with Prompts.

How to Manage the Not Good Enough Feelings

I found it hard, if not impossible to keep up with the pace of things when I was part of a coaching container. I had to manage my own energy levels and discomfort at being a more introverted member as well. But it was more than that, achieving goals felt impossible.

As soon as the feeling of falling behind happened, those limiting and negative beliefs began to grow, yet again leaving me feeling like I wasn't good enough.

This ongoing battle with imposter syndrome, perfectionism and self-doubt is something many of us who are ND, who live with limiting illnesses or low energy experience.

My chronic illness flared in that summer – a mix of burnout and bugs and I was stopped in my tracks. I couldn’t do much, I worked from a low energy schedule and stepped away completely from socials and selling.

I decided I would totally change the way I was working. Remembering my lessons over the years, and letting go of feeling inadequate due to my unique needs, I decided to embrace gentle productivity and growth.

Recognising When Things Need to Change

I realised that the reason why I pushed myself to the limit and induced another flare up was because:

  • I have chronic illness & these things happen with fluctuating health conditions
  • I stopped being connected to my reason why.
  • I put unrealistic time frames on my business growth and achieving goals
  • I listened to others instead of following my own dreams 
  • It became focused on finding clients and much less about doing what I loved to do
  • I didn’t take care of myself
  • I didn’t feel good enough
  • I didn’t believe in myself or my business because it stopped being a passion project!

I realise that I had become caught up in the dreams of others of making big money instead of taking my time, developing my skills as a writer and establishing the life and business I dreamt of.

If you constantly feel like you're doing something wrong because you're not doing all the things that others are doing, refocus back on YOU. Check that your goals are still YOURS! Check that they are realistic (challenging yes – but unrealistic – no!!).

That is what I forgot. Instead I got caught up in the buzz and excitement all over socials to “Earn 5-10k this way”. Somewhere along the way, achieving goals like this became the main focus!

My Biggest Takeaways

I am uniquely me. I learn in a way that is unique to me. I process things in my own way, some things take longer, and other things naturally come easily. 

I have a chaotic mind. It’s very noisy and it gets very excited and very passionate, but also very easily distracted. Finishing things isn’t always the easiest thing, and like many others with neurodiversity, I am a box jumper. I have so many things I want to do that it can get a little overwhelming!

Add low energy into the mix, and the boom-bust cycle becomes a real issue!

But…

I knew that the more pressure I put on myself to get things done yesterday, the less that will get done at all.

I am one of those who goes hyper- focused on something. I live it and breathe it (I completed my Masters dissertation several months early because I did nothing but that for weeks…)

But when I stop – I have no idea if I will ever go back to it. Can you relate?!

Top Tips for Achieving Goals

By sharing these reflections, my hope is that you can identify any areas in your life where you've become more detached from your true goals, because of the innate need to fit in with others.

My top tips are:

  • Go back to your reason why. Become clear again on what your true goals are. What change will achieving these goals have upon your life?
  • Are your goals your goals, or what you think you should aim for goals? As above, reconnect with your dream! Visualise, meditate and take the time to explore.
  • Become fully aware of your strengths and limitations. Understand what makes you tick, and how you work best.
  • Understand your energy cycle. Create plans that will compliment and embrace your natural energy. All energy ebbs and flows, but for those who manage energy related illnesses, this is crucial.
  • Create a Plan B. Create an essential plan where your can focus on the bare minimum during those times your energy is low. This keeps your mind ticking over, but allows plenty of time to rest.
  • Stop comparing your timeline with others. Especially with those whose situation is totally different to your own. For example, for someone whose energy levels sit around 50-70%, comparing your progress to those who have full energy most days isn't relative.
  • Show yourself compassion. Become your biggest supporter. Don't think badly of yourself if you're unable to do something due to energy, or you process things differently to others.
  • Allow yourself to achieve your goals in a way that is balanced, and less pressured. We all have our own unique needs, learn to work with them instead of fighting to fit with the methods of others.
  • Have courage to do what you love, and take those breaks as often as you need to.

Achieving Goals Your Way

The biggest takeaway that I have from writing this post and looking back at my own journey, is that when things are forced, things become difficult.

Difference is what makes the world the place it is, so why not learn how to work with your own needs, behaviours and preferences in mind?

Final Thoughts…

If you relate to any of what I’ve chatted about in this article, firstly I want to say – you’re doing great. You are capable, it’s about how you can use this understanding to find a way forward that supports and energises you. A plan that embraces who you are and how you learn as you focus on achieving goals.

Remember, it’s not a race, and once you find what works for you, you will find the best way for achieving goals in a way that empowers you.

Tools, Resources & Support

In each post I share some of my favourite tools, resources and strategies.

Sunsama – A brilliant task management that is perfect for busy and neurodiverse minds who easily find themselves overwhelmed and distracted. grab a free 2 week trial and free month!

Time Audit – Gain a clear understanding of exactly where your time and your energy is spent. Highly recommend doing this if you're planning to focus on increased productivity.

Tailwind – Fantastic scheduling tool. Great for Pinterest and repurposing across different social media platforms.

Canva Pro – Upgrade your content design with Canva Pro. Explore the enhanced features available in Pro. Grab your free trial here!

Task Batching Brain Dumps – Learn how to batch your tasks with these handy worksheets + Braindumps

Eisenhower Matrix – Included in this pack of “Anti-Procrastination” worksheets, the Get it Done bundle includes tools for goal setting, prioritising & more!

I'd love to hear your thoughts below!


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Meet Lynsey

Lynsey Wall, Coach & Mentor at Coach Writes. About me - A headshot of Lynsey smiling. Wearing a black t-shirt, blue framed glasses. Office walls behind her.

Hey there! I'm Lynsey, a coach, counsellor, and mentor for low energy, introverted or low confident female coaches & small business owners. With over 5 years’ experience of running businesses, and over a decade as a tutor and trainer, I've learned the value of effective time management that energises you through working with your energy.

I've lived with chronic illness – ME/CFS since 2011 and since then I re-trained as a counsellor, and achieved a distinction for my MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy Practice; all while running 4 businesses! I want that for you as well & it is possible with the right support and pathway to success.

Improving your mindset, finding acceptance and developing a solution-focused approach to achieving your goals is my passion. Blending mental health support where needed, as well as a supportive space and methods to manage your work more effectively.

If you'd like to know more about working with me, you can email [email protected] or find me on socials (links in the menu)

Have you seen my online store Shop.QuietlyConquer? Find DFY templates, downloads & more!

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