Building Self Confidence: A Guide for New Coaches

Let's talk about building self confidence as a new coach in a noisy online space. Have you ever felt held back by self-doubt and low self confidence as a new coach or small business owner?

This has come up a lot in my work recently, with self doubt, lack of self confidence, worry and comparison with others acting like a heavy chain that just won’t release you. 

POV: You signed up to your training programme full of excitement of what may be. You see all of the success stories where others have gone on to make 4-6 figures each month within weeks. You start to kind of believe it’s possible, but there is still that little voice of doubt in the back of your mind.

This little voice gets louder until you’re like a deer in headlights, with no idea at all what to do & how to make it work for you. 

Can you relate to this? Maybe not as strongly, but most of us (yes, even those super confident ones you follow) will experience some level of self doubt.  But yes, in order to make your business goals come to life, you will need to nurture your confidence 

The thing with building self confidence is that you can learn how to become confident, and you can learn to tame those mind monkeys. Your brain is in charge of keeping you alive so when something that feels challenging or uncomfortable crops up (like choosing to start your own business), it can mistake that as a threat to your life. It tries its hardest to convince you that you should absolutely not “go for it”. It wants you to stay safe, and that means staying within your comfort zone.

This is why self-doubt can be a powerful block for many new coaches and small business owners.

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Part 1: The Impact of Low Self Confidence on Coaching Success

When you have low self confidence many aspects of your business can be affected.

Setting up a new business is challenging and can be very hard work, especially at the beginning. To stay focused and keep up the momentum, you need to have a good level of enthusiasm, belief  and vision; because in those early days you probably won’t see that much of a financial return on your efforts.

Therefore, if you’re plagued by self doubt it will impact your energy and how you approach your work. For example, you may:

• Lose motivation
• Procrastinate
• Face creative / writers block
• Lose belief in your business concept
• Unable to communicate your services effectively 
• Not attract clients to your offer
• Step back from promoting your business
• Compare yourself with others and lose more confidence
• Undervalue your work and your expertise
• Stop working on it at all

When I experienced crippling self doubt I lost total belief in my abilities despite being an experienced therapist with a thriving practice, and achieving a distinction in my Masters at around the same time. It stopped me from bringing my energy to both my work and my marketing. 

I lacked focus and spent my time on behind the scenes tasks that didn’t need to be completed. This cost me time and energy. My clients didn’t know who I was or what my offer was, yet I was working non-stop! I was always extremely busy, but not very productive because I didn’t feel confident. 

The clients I’ve worked with, whether in teaching, mentoring, therapy or coaching all experience similar things when they lack self confidence. The wider impact can be massive whilst making your world much smaller. It's why I advocate that building self confidence is as important as any other aspect of your business, because you need to be able to show up for your clients & to be seen amongst all the other professionals out there!

Part 2: The Monkey Mind and Its Role in Self-Doubt

What is the “monkey mind”? What does it mean and how does it make self doubt and self confidence worse?

In very basic terms… – Our brains have: 

• The old part (lizard) This is responsible for those basic instincts for survival. Think fight / flight reactors with little thought involved. 
• The newer part – The monkey brain – is closest to your ego and is responsible for processing lots of complicated things as well as your emotions. 
• The human brain is the part where logical thinking comes in – devoid of the impact of the emotional brain.

**There are loads of psychology theories and research in this, I chose to present this as it feels much more straightforward! 

The term “Monkey Mind” is attributed to Buddha. 

In Buddhism, it refers to the unrelenting chatter, confusion and chaos that can happen inside our minds. If you imagine a group of monkeys playing together there’s a lot of noise and chatter and a feeling of chaotic energy.

When you’re in a cycle of negative self talk, your mind can be an unforgiving space. Your mind can feel busy with a million ideas jostling for your attention. If you’re already experiencing self-doubt, lacking self confidence and not making the progress you had hoped to, the negative self-talk can become pretty intense 

“I knew you couldn’t do it!” “Why bother?” “You’re not good enough to do this…” 

This constant stream of noisy chatter, those voices that criticise you, tell you it’s not worth working for, that you’re not worthy or capable; are your mind monkeys. It can be tough to switch off, but there are ways to tame the monkey and restore clarity and calm. 

First thing to remember is – your thoughts are not facts. 

It is important that you work on removing these doubts, because they can lead to missed opportunities, inaction and a lack of growth. Building your self confidence through managing these thoughts are key.

If you’re also an introvert or you manage chronic illness, these thoughts can build even more intensely as that inner sense of not quite fitting in can just amplify those feelings. 

Part 3: Building Self Confidence: Strategies to Tame the Monkey Mind

Here are some practical techniques to support you with building self confidence, managing your self-doubt and quieting the monkey mind:

Mindfulness and meditation to increase self-awareness and reduce negative thought patterns. Before you roll your eyes at yet another meditation and mindfulness suggestion – bear with me here… Anxiety, worry and self-doubt are very rarely based in logical thinking. When you’re worrying or predicting all the things that could go wrong your head is in the future.

Or, if old patterns or thoughts are bringing you back, your mind still isn’t in the present. That is what mindfulness and meditation does – it brings you straight into the present moment, the here and now. When you are focused only on your breath and on being present in that moment, the monkey mind is quietened. 

Once you learn this technique and practise it, it reduces the impact of the thought or worry until it isn’t an issue at all. Of course, it’s not going to be the answer to everything, but in the moment it will absolutely help you come back into your logical mind

Journalling and Affirmations help you get used to using positive self-talk to counteract self-criticism with self-empowerment which will also help with building self confidence. Journal to identify and challenge limiting beliefs and fears and set your intentions for the day ahead.

Create a list of evidence. Use this to challenge all of those thoughts as they arise. In time this becomes pretty automatic and eventually those negative thoughts decrease until they’re banished out of mind! Or, when they do arise, you can calmly reframe it without the thought impacting on your ability to keep moving forward. 

Work with a therapist. If you find it too difficult to manage your self belief or self-doubt and you recognise that there may be some deeply ingrained messages, consider reaching out to a therapist. 

Part 4: Embracing Fear as a Growth Opportunity

Shift the narrative around fear from being an obstacle to becoming a catalyst for growth. When you recognise that fear is holding you back, focus on the learning you can take from that. What would pushing through and doing the thing that you’re scared of mean? How will it improve your life or benefit your business?

Fear is a natural part of the journey of building a business. It also tells you that  and that you’re pushing beyond comfort zones, and this is where the growth will happen.

As you begin to step outside of your comfort zone your fear will lessen. By doing this, you're not only building your self confidence, you're continually making progress towards your goals. Recognise what the fear is telling you – is it showing up to keep you safe? Why? How can you find the courage to do what you’re worried about?

Starting a new business takes courage, so it’s perfectly normal to experience fear as well. It’s a big deal! You’re doing amazing things, probably things you’ve never done before, so please keep in mind that you’re currently experiencing a lot of firsts as you develop your skills and set up your new business. Building self confidence is a huge thing in itself – let alone at the same time as having to constantly push through your comfort zone!

Part 5: Consistency and Resilience: Keys to Moving Forward

Consistency and resilience are key for overcoming confidence challenges & building self confidence once again. Whenever you do something that’s new and unfamiliar it can feel uncomfortable. If you already experience self-doubt these feelings may be amplified, but the key is to keep going with it. If for example showing up online is a big challenge, committing to showing up every day for a week is going to lessen the fear by day 5. I’m not saying you’re going to be loving going live on Instagram after 5 days, but what you’re doing is proving to your mind that it was okay. Yes it was scary, but nothing bad happened. 

Resilience is also important because we can face a lot of setbacks in business. The dream of a full client list may not happen as easily or as quickly as you had hoped, but it’s important not let that setback derail your progress completely. So you showed up on a live, but nobody watched. Yes it felt a bit crap, but by continuing to go for it and put yourself out there people will begin to find you.

Or, you poured your heart and soul into a course and not one person took you up on it. Does that make the course rubbish? No! Being resilient will help you become solution-focused. Instead of focusing on what has gone wrong, it enables you to focus on what you can learn from that experience. What do you need to do next time to make it work?

Strategies to support building self confidence:

• Set yourself up to win by setting small, achievable goals to build confidence over time. As you cross off each win you will naturally gain confidence as the momentum builds.
• Celebrate each step along the way to reinforce positive self-perception. Daily wins are a massive part of my work and for the clients I work with. It quietens the negative self-talk as you get more comfortable with using praise towards yourself. 
• Seek support from mentors, business besties, friends, or consider working with a coach to navigate these difficult moments
• Keep pushing forward, even when faced with setbacks or self-doubt. Those new pathways you’re creating every time you do something will become clearer and more attainable the more you keep going.

To Recap:

The impact of low self confidence and the role of the monkey mind,can be huge on both your personal and professional life. When you experience self-doubt it can be difficult to believe or trust in yourself and your vision. 

Building self confidence is an ongoing journey that requires patience and dedication to yourself. These old messages may have been present for years, so they may not just disappear overnight. But with patience, compassion and commitment to yourself and your business dreams, you can achieve self confidence.

I would love to hear your experiences and your thoughts on self-doubt. What are your tips for building self confidence and taming the monkey mind? What has worked for you in the past? How can you use your own experiences to reframe those negative thoughts?

Take a Look…

Have you read my other posts talking about how passive income can be a fantastic add-on to your business? If you're an introvert, manage energy issues or want to do business your way… Passive income could be THE answer to your business goals!

What Are You Waiting For?!

Success is MORE THAN possible for everyone, even if certain parts of business may be challenging. Explore alternative options if traditional methods like one-on-one work or extensive social media content feels overwhelming.

Passive income can provide the freedom and financial stability you desire. Once you're up and running you can consider using the passive income to fund a virtual assistant (VA) or social media manager, further streamlining your business operations as you grow.

With persistence and good, strategic planning, and effective time management in place, you can create a thriving business and achieve financial freedom through passive income.

While you're here, let me share my accountability and support membership with you!

The Authentic Growth Community provides accountability, training and mentoring to support you as you grow your online business with ease and confidence. Building self confidence is a key part of the mindset work we do. Visit The Authentic Growth Community

Looking for more support?

Work with me 1-1 where we can map out your offer tree, get crystal clear on your next steps and make consistent progress. A plan doesn't have to feel scary – it's just a guide to keep you focused on the big goals, and support with time management and prioritising your tasks. Visit – www.lynseywall.com

Meet Lynsey

Hey there! I'm Lynsey, a coach, counsellor, and mentor for low energy, introverted or low confident female coaches & small business owners. With over 5 years’ experience of running businesses, and over a decade as a tutor and trainer, I've learned the value of effective time management that energises you through working with your energy.

I've lived with chronic illness – ME/CFS since 2011 and since then I re-trained as a counsellor, and achieved a distinction for my MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy Practice; all while running 4 businesses! I want that for you as well & it is possible with the right support and pathway to success.

Improving your mindset, finding acceptance and developing a solution-focused approach to achieving your goals is my passion. Blending mental health support where needed, as well as a supportive space and methods to manage your work more effectively.

If you'd like to know more about working with me, you can email [email protected] or find me on socials (links in the menu)

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