CBT for Beginners: A Simple Guide to Changing Unhelpful Thoughts

CBT for Beginners

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a spiral of negative thinking? One small thing goes wrong and suddenly you’re convinced the whole day is ruined, or that you’re not good enough, and that others are judging you.

If yes, know that you’re not alone, and that here is a way to gently work with these thoughts and change them so that they don't take over your life.

As a therapist, one of the tools I often use in my work is CBT, which stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

CBT is a practical approach that helps you to understand and reshape your thought patterns. At its heart, CBT is about recognising how thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are connected, and learning how we can make small adjustments that lead to meaningful change.

In this post, I’ll explain in a non-jargon way what CBT is, how it works, and how you can start using it yourself. I’ve also created a free CBT worksheet you can download at the end to help you gently explore your own thinking patterns.

*Affiliate Disclosure: Some links in this post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase something via the link, I may receive a small commission. This doesn't affect the price you pay.

If you have any questions, reach out for a chat [email protected] or check out my other blogs

---

CBT for Beginners

We all have moments when our thoughts seem to work against us. However for some, this is the dominant way of thinking, and holds people back from living life to their fullest.

Maybe you catch yourself thinking “I'm definitely going to mess this up” before an important meeting, or “Nobody wants me around” after a friend cancels plans. These thoughts can feel like absolute truths, even when there's little evidence to support them.

What is CBT?

CBT is a practical, evidence-based approach to mental wellbeing that focuses on the relationship between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Unlike some therapies that might delve deeply into childhood experiences, CBT primarily works with current patterns and practical skills.

As a person-centred therapist who works integratively, I use CBT tools frequently in my work to support clients with negative thinking, anxiety and dealing with fear / phobias.

The core concept of CBT is the connection between our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, so it suggests that the way we think about situations significantly influences how we feel and behave This means that the way we think about something affects how we feel — and that affects what we do..

It can be very easy to get caught in unhelpful thinking patterns, and to believe what that these thoughts are factual. They may make you feel less confident, doubt yourself and your abilities. As a result you may step back, not speak up as you fear the response you'll get. The impact on your life and emotional wellbeing can be huge, reinforcing what you initially thought was true.

CBT is about developing a more balanced perspective through challenging these thoughts as they arise, and recognising when your thoughts might not be telling you the truth after all!

The CBT Triangle: Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviours

A helpful way to understand CBT is through the concept of the “cognitive triangle” which shows how thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected, and the ongoing cycle between them.

• Thoughts: Our interpretations, beliefs, and mental narratives
• Feelings: Our emotional responses and physical sensations
• Behaviours: The actions we take in response

These three elements constantly affect and influence each other. For example:

Thought: “I'm just going to embarrass myself at this party.”
Feeling: Anxiety, nervousness, tense muscles.
Behaviour: Avoiding the gathering completely or leaving early.

This cycle can become self-reinforcing because of the sense of relief it provides to you. However, if you do choose to avoid the situation, you'll have missed out on the fun you could have had, seeing friends or loved ones, and realising that actually, everything was just fine! Instead, it keeps the anxious thought intact for the next time an event comes up.

Avoidance can be one of the biggest struggles for those with anxiety because it provides that short-term relief which is much nicer than the sensation or feeling of discomfort.

CBT is a tool that can help you recognise these patterns, and support you to break the negative loop that you may have found yourself trapped in.

Common Thinking Traps

CBT is helpful because it brings awareness to your thought patterns — especially the ones that don’t support you.

Everyone has certain thinking habits that pop up when under stress or pressure. The key is in identifying them so that you can intervene and stop them from stopping you.

Some common thinking patterns include:

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking: Seeing things in absolute terms with no middle ground. It's often linked with perfectionism, something is either good or bad. “If I don't get this promotion, my career is a complete failure.“
   
2. Catastrophising: Automatically assuming the worst possible outcome in any event. “If I make a mistake at work, they'll know I'm useless and I'll probably lose my job.“
   
3. Mind Reading: Believing we know what others are thinking without evidence. “She didn't smile at me, so I must have upset her & now she hates me”
   
4. Emotional Reasoning: Taking feelings as evidence of truth and ignoring any facts or evidence that disputes it. “I feel incompetent, therefore I must be incompetent.”
   
5. Overgeneralising: Drawing broad, often negative conclusions about something from a single or limited experience. “I didn't finish this task, I'm never going to complete anything in life.”
   
6. Filtering: Focusing only on the negatives while filtering out and ignoring any positives. “I made a spelling mistake in my report – I've completely ruined it.”
   

These thoughts often feel true in the moment. But they’re usually inaccurate and are often unhelpful. CBT helps you to recognise these patterns as they arise and gives you the tools to begin to challenge them with compassion.

How to Practice CBT in Real Life

CBT is something that you can introduce in your day to day life. While I am an advocate for seeking therapy, especially if your mental health is having a significant impact on your quality of life, there are things that you can do for yourself without speaking with a therapist.

But, please note that this is not a replacement for therapy, and if you are concerned, please do seek support from a professional.

I love journaling and find it can improve my mental health and mindset. Guided journals that are designed to help you reflect using CBT tools can also be very useful. Additionally, you can find lots of resources online, for example thought trackers, mental health worksheets.

If you visit my Etsy store you'll find some therapy & mental health worksheets there:

Here are some simple ways to start using CBT yourself:

1. Notice Your Thoughts

Start by simply observing your thoughts, especially during challenging moments. Ask yourself:

• What just went through my mind?
• How strongly do I believe this thought (from 0-100%)?
• How does this thought make me feel?

This practice of “catching” thoughts – without immediately judging them and reacting to them – creates a small but important pause between you and your thoughts.

It can take time for this to become automatic, which can be frustrating as I understand the desire to want to eradicate the thoughts as quickly as possible.

However, for many people, the unhelpful thoughts that are currently automatic are very ingrained. They've likely been your “go-to” for a very long time, so it will take time to change, just as a new habit takes time to become automatic.

2. Examine the Evidence

When you notice an unhelpful thought, gently explore the evidence both for and against it:

Thought: “I' don't fit in with others at work, I don't think they see me as part of their team.”

Evidence for: “I felt awkward at the team meeting and didn't really speak to anyone”.

Evidence against: “My colleague invited me to join them for lunch last week. I'm often asked to give my opinion or for help on projects.”

This activity isn't about dismissing the thought straight away, but about seeing whether there might be a fuller picture. this helps you to trust and believe that the opposite is more likely the truth

3. Consider Alternative Perspectives

Ask yourself: “Is there another way to look at this situation?” or “What might I say to a friend who had this thought?”

This is a great journal prompt if you have time to sit and reflect on your day and how you're feeling. When you step back from the power and emotion of the thought, it can be easier to see alternative perspectives.

It's also much easier to have a balanced outlook when you're thinking about others rather than yourself. it can help you to think more logically, which is often too difficult when understandably caught up in the emotion of the situation.

The pause you create between the thought and your reaction / emotion / behaviour is when you can bring more logic into play. It only takes a second, so use a deep breath to help you create that pause.

4. Start with Small Behavioural Changes

As with any goal you're working towards, you don't need to change everything right away. Take your time, and be confident that these small changes will snowball and improve in time. A gentle approach removes some of those lingering judgements, and allows you to experience small wins each day.

For example:

• If your anxiety has led you to be more isolated due to avoidance, set yourself a small goal to text or call one friend each week. The pace in which you increase is up to you. Acknowledge your courage as you gently build on these steps.
• If anxious thoughts are causing your to procrastinate because you're too overwhelmed with everything you need to do, break all of your tasks into tiny five-fifteen minute steps. Then stop, acknowledge the win and go again!

Think about how you can experiment with things in your life. Remember to keep a record so that you are providing new evidence to yourself that contradicts the unhelpful (and often untrue) thoughts and beliefs. In time these will help to gradually shift your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

CBT for Beginners: Practical Activities

Challenge the Thought

As previously discussed, self-reflection is a great way to being to take back control of those unwanted thought patterns.

Either in the moment, or when you have time to sit and journal / reflect, think about the situation that triggered the cycle.

Ask yourself:

• What evidence do I have for and against this thought?
• Am I assuming I know what others are thinking?
• Have I done anything well today?
• What would I say to a friend in my position?
• A more balanced thought might be…

The last question is important because that shift in perspective can help ease the emotional intensity around the trigger, and change how you respond next time.

Thought Records – Identifying Patterns

Another great CBT tool that can be used to help reframe negative or unhelpful thinking, and identify any patterns in behaviour is the thought record.

It's something you can begin to apply in the moment, as you do when challenging thoughts, but this is getting you to delve a bit deeper.

I prefer to use this as a journaling activity, or when I'm reflecting on my day. But, others may choose to keep their record (or something similar) on them / in their phone's notes app) so that they can consider the situation and reframe the thought right away.

How it works:

1. Situation(Trigger): Briefly describe what happened.
2. Automatic Thought: What went through your mind?
3. Emotions: How did it make you feel? Rate intensity (0-10).
4. Evidence: What supports this thought? What doesn't?
5. Alternative Thought: What's a more balanced perspective?
6. New Feeling: How do you feel now? Rate intensity again.

This activity can help to reduce the intensity of the emotion, and creates more space for balanced thinking which can then be applied in other situations.

Download your FREE Thought Record here to help you identify unhelpful thinking patterns, and challenge your thoughts:

When to Seek Professional Support

As I have mentioned earlier, using CBT tools like these can be extremely valuable, but working with a trained therapist can be even more beneficial, especially if your anxious thoughts are severe, and are impacting your everyday life and causing additional mental health issues.

Working with a therapist can:

• Are professionally trained, and able to hold a safe space for you in your sessions.
• Support when emotions feel overwhelming in a safe, calm and professional manner.
• Help identifying thought patterns that might be difficult to see on your own.
• Provide a structured approach that builds skills progressively, at a pace that is safe for you.
• Provide accountability and encouragement .
• Is able to refer to additional specialists when necessary.

CBT therapy is usually time-limited (typically 6-12 sessions), and focused on teaching skills you can continue using independently. However many therapists who work integrated will embrace CBT techniques to meet the needs of their clients.

To learn more about working with a therapist, visit professional bodies (like NCPS or the BACP in the UK), where you will find a directory of fully qualified professional therapists.

Tools, Resources & Support

Below are some of my favourite tools and resources:

Mindset & Wellness Worksheet Bundle – A set of worksheets and activities to help you improve your confidence and sense of wellbeing. A great selection of printable mental health & therapy & coaching tools for personal use, or to use with clients.

Canva Pro – Upgrade your content design with Canva Pro. Explore the enhanced features available in Pro. Grab your free trial here.

Etsy – Are you ready to create your own online store? Etsy is a brilliant shopping platform that's used by millions. Setting up your store is simple, and when you sign up with this link we both get 40 free listings!

Grow With Evelyn – Evelyn Weiss is an extraordinary coach. GWE is the best membership I've been in. The level of support, the courses, challenges & community are exceptional. Highly recommend if you're a coach, digital creator or small business owner.

Impact Stationery – Have you ever dreamed of creating your own high-end stationery products? Laura has an amazing course & community designed to help you created printed products that you can market on Amazon, or your own website. It's different to KDP in that they're not print on demand, and the quality of products are incredible.

Final Thoughts

CBT isn't about forcing positive thinking or eliminating all difficult emotions. Life inevitably brings challenges, and it's normal to experience the full range of human feelings in response.

Instead, CBT offers a way to relate differently to your thoughts, understanding that thoughts are not facts, and discovering how to challenge and reframe your thinking.

Remember that changing thought patterns takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself as you explore these concepts, and celebrate the small moments of flexibility that emerge along the way.

FInd that pause, take a breath and ask yourself “Is this really true or is there another way of looking at it?”

I hope this CBT for beginners blog was helpful to you. As always, thank you for reading, and I wish you good mental health.

---

I would love to hear from you! How can you introduce some of these CBT tools into your life? Share below ☺️

If this post helped or you enjoyed reading it, please share one of the images below as it really helps my blog – Thank You!

Meet Lynsey

Hey there! I'm Lynsey, a coach, counsellor, and mentor for low energy, introverted or low confident female coaches & small business owners. With over 5 years’ experience of running businesses, and over a decade as a tutor and trainer, I've learned the value of effective time management that energises you through working with your energy.

I've lived with chronic illness – ME/CFS since 2011 and since then I re-trained as a counsellor, and achieved a distinction for my MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy Practice; all while running 4 businesses! I want that for you as well & it is possible with the right support and pathway to success.

Improving your mindset, finding acceptance and developing a solution-focused approach to achieving your goals is my passion. Blending mental health support where needed, as well as a supportive space and methods to manage your work more effectively.

If you'd like to know more about working with me, you can email [email protected] or find me on socials (links in the menu)

Have you seen my online store Shop.QuietlyConquer? Find DFY templates, downloads & more!