How to Overcome a Fear of Making Mistakes

Are you fearful of making mistakes?

Is fear of getting things wrong something that you experience?

If yes, you're in the right place. As an experienced counsellor, mum of two grown boys, and someone who has struggled with this for most of my 46 years, I want to share some things that can help you identify the root of the fear, and some simple things you can do to keep moving forward.

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Understand Your Fear of Making Mistakes

For many of us, the fear of making a mistake can be paralysing. Not only can it stop you from embracing new opportunities in your career or professional life, it can also hold you back from fully experiencing life.

When you worry too much about making a mistake, you can become risk averse, or struggle with decision making, constantly weighing up options to the point of becoming stressed and overwhelmed.

Psychological Explanations of Fear

The fear of making a mistake tends to be related to deeper psychological factors, often unknown to our conscious selves.

For Example:

Past Experiences: Who we are now is shaped by our past experiences. If you've faced constant criticism or have been made to feel bad or humiliated when younger if you made a mistake, the fear of the same thing happening can manifest and become quite ingrained.

Self Worth: If you have low self worth or low self esteem, the thought of making a mistake can feel terrifying. Lots of “What if's” will be floating around, making it feel too unsafe to even consider giving it a go.

Perfectionism: This tends to be linked to fear of failing or being judged as well. The high standards that are set are often impossible to achieve, which reinforces the fear of making any kind of mistake – big or small.

Fear of Judgement: As each of the above feeds into, the fear of doing something wrong and looking silly in front of others can be a huge trigger. THe need to avoid this scenario can often lead to not taking any risks, and staying safe in choices made.

The Impact on You

The impact that the fear of making mistakes has can be overwhelmingly big. If you listen to the worry and step back into safety instead of trying new things, or making the decision to go for it, you stunt your own growth and limit your life experiences overall.

As a counsellor, I've supported many people who have lived with this kind of worry, and the impact on their mental health, as well as their ability to live their lives has been significant.

For many, their enjoyment of life was limited, as well as a sense of unfulfillment and increased mental health issues like anxiety, low mood and depression.

Decision Making

The ability to make a decision on even the simplest of things can be difficult. This could be for something as relatively insignificant as choosing a sandwich filling. The inability to think past “What if I regretted choosing this and wished I had chosen the other one” plays on a loop.

This overthinking is a common issue with decision making, spending too much time thinking about the pros and cons, and for bigger decisions, imagining the worst case scenario, which just leads to indecision and analysis paralysis.

You may also be more prone to procrastination, putting off the task or avoiding looking at it because it will mean being faced with that decision.

Avoidance of making a decision can lead to missed opportunities and experiences, increasing the feeling of missing out on life and staying stuck.

Avoiding Risk

Avoiding risks feels good for those who excessively worry about making mistakes. The short term gratification that comes with not having to deal with it feels like a huge sense of relief.

But… avoidance simply reinforces the fear, making it feel bigger and even more scary. Risk avoidance also means you miss out on a tonne of things.

You may miss out on professional growth – that promotion that you are more than capable of achieving. The fear of doing something wrong can put a stop to you even thinking about putting yourself forward.

You may have a dream of learning a new skill, or training in a new career, but the fear of making a mistake holds you back, believing that inner dialogue “I'd never do that” or “What if I I qualified, but found that I was rubbish at actually doing it?!”

Confidence

Avoidance of these kinds of opportunities or life experiences can chip away at your confidence over time. From being confident and outgoing, to doubting everything you do, it can bring the ceiling on your potential down to a much lower level.

As you avoid taking those chances, you reinforce the belief that you aren't capable of doing the thing. Those thoughts become more like facts in your mind's eye.

This lessens your self belief, and again lowers your ability to dream big or set new goals that challenge you and support your growth.

Missed opportunities again impacts your confidence and the safety that you feel when you do make the decision to avoid doing the thing, feels so much easier.

There can also be an increase in anxiety as the risk you're avoiding becomes more intense the more you avoid it. This further limits your self confidence and your need for safety becomes even more essential.

A fear of making mistakes can keep your world small by limiting your ability to see past that initial thought or belief.

How to Overcome a Fear of Making Mistakes

There are a few different ways you can overcome your fear of making mistakes. For many it will depend on how prominent the fear has become, and the level of influence it has upon your ability to still go for things that may feel a little risky.

There are some practical steps you can take, including:

Goal Setting

Set smaller and more achievable goals. Then, break them into even smaller steps before the fear of making mistakes dominates your mind.

A lot of worry comes with uncertainty and the unknown. When you're at the beginning of something, it can feel risky, even if you really want to achieve it. Therefore, a plan with clear steps that are both specific and achievable, can make the world of difference.

As you work backwards and work out the steps you need to take to achieve your goals, it becomes easier to see yourself achieving it. This clarity helps to alleviate the fear of making mistakes, and helps you to see how possible it actually is.

You don't need to take giant steps, or face the most challenging tasks right away. Starting small will increase your confidence, and as momentum builds, you will feel more confident to face the more difficult steps.

Self Compassion

Self compassion is key when you have a fear of making mistakes. If you heap too much pressure on yourself, or have expectations that are too high, the chances are the fear will cause procrastination or avoidance.

If you're about to do something that's new or challenging, give yourself grace to be a beginner. Support yourself, and work on your mindset.

Face fears with a practical and solution focused attitude that's also realistic and supportive.

Challenge Negative Thinking

Your thoughts hold so much power, and it's very easy to take those thoughts and turn them into perceived facts.

Reframing thoughts around your fear of making mistakes can lessen the strength that they hold. As with anxious thinking patterns, worry thoughts can intensify as we give them more credence until they feel like they're statements of truth.

When you begin to challenge negative thinking, you can begin to reframe the fear or uncertainty. For example, instead of worrying that you will do something wrong, you can say to yourself “I've not done this before, if I don't get it right first time, that's okay. I get to try again”.

In time, and with practice, you can flip those thoughts quickly until they become your automatic thought response and the fear of making mistakes no longer holds you back.

Ask for Feedback / Mentoring

Being a beginner can be unsettling, especially the older you get. There are all sorts of pressures and worries attached to years or decades of thinking in one way.

If you're doing something for the first time like building a coaching or therapy business, seek feedback from those who have already begun setting their own businesses up.

This feedback can help you see things you may have missed before you submit work or put your offers / social media posts out there.

But, be mindful that the feedback that you seek is from those that you know are honest, supportive and experienced in what you're doing.

Being open to feedback can be challenging, especially if you have a fear of making mistakes, but it can be one of the most helpful things to have as you learn new things. This was something I became used to as a teacher, and during my counselling training, even though my fear of making mistakes was still quite high, the feedback was always helpful and enabled me to practice and refine my skills.

30 Prompts for Fear of Making Mistakes

Take a look at these 30 prompts. They are designed to help you improve your self compassion and develop a growth mindset where you feel more confident in yourself to move forward.

Understanding The Fear of Making Mistakes:

What is a memory you have from your younger years when you felt embarrassed for making a mistake?

How has this fear impacted your personal life?

How has this fear impacted your professional life or career?

How has this fear of making mistakes influenced your decision making?

What beliefs do you have about making mistakes? How realistic are these beliefs?

How does this fear impact your confidence and self belief?

What situations trigger the fear the most?

Write about a time you pushed through the fear. How could you tap into this again?

Where do you feel this fear physically? How can you use these as warning signs to help you manage your response to it?

What would the benefit be for overcoming this fear of making mistakes? How would life be different for you?

Challenging Negative Thinking:

How can you reframe making mistakes as learning opportunities?

What evidence do you have that challenges the belief that making mistakes is bad?

Think of a time you made a mistake, or someone close to you did. What can you learn from that? Were you / they able to move forward? What did you / they get from this experience?

How would you support a friend who had a fear of making mistakes, and was holding themselves back from something that could be great for them?

Imagine you decided to go for it. What's the worst case scenario that automatically comes to mind? How realistic is this fear?

How can you challenge the belief that making a mistake defines your value as a person?

How can you be more compassionate with yourself?

How can you challenge perfectionism when you're working on something important?

Write down 1-3 negative or unhelpful stories or beliefs that you hold about yourself, your worth and value as a person. Look at each story / belief and challenge each of them with evidence that tells a different story.

Create a pro / con list of your thoughts and beliefs around a goal or dream. Flip any negative thoughts into positive ones. Create affirmations (statements) to challenge any negative ones. For example, if you wrote that you don't believe that you can, create an affirmation that says something like: “I am capable of achieving my goals”.

Solution Focused:

How can you reframe your beliefs about a difficult task / situation you're currently facing?

What strategies could you introduce to build your self confidence?

Think of a time when you had to overcome something difficult or challenging. What did you have to do to face it and move forward?

How can you prepare for potential mistakes? What changes or adaptations could you make?

How could you improve your current skill set to enhance your ability and your confidence in this area?

Who is someone you trust that you could ask for honest, but compassionate feedback. How can you prepare yourself to hear any helpful, constructive criticism?

Think about how you could begin to lessen your resistance to taking any kind of risk in life / business / career? Are there smaller steps you could take?

Look at others who you perceive to be successful. What mistakes have they made along the way and what can you learn from them?

Think of a situation that triggers your worry / anxiety. While you're sat in a calm and safe space, think about the situation, and explore what it is that creates these feelings. DO you notice any patterns? Can you challenge any of the thoughts?

Sometimes it's easier to see a solution when we're looking at something from a different perspective. Describe how would you support a friend who was finding it difficult to face the same thing you're dealing with? What reassurances would you give to them?

Tools, Resources & Support

Each post I add my favourite tools and resources, so here are some more just for you!

The Counselling Coach – My counselling website. Visit for more information, or pop me an email [email protected] to find out about 1-1 services for both counselling & coaching).

Sunsama – A brilliant task management that is perfect for busy and neurodiverse minds who easily find themselves overwhelmed and distracted. grab a free 2 week trial and free month!

Thought-Shifting Mini Journal – CBT-Based Thought Shifting Activities + mini journal with prompts

Etsy – Are you ready to create your own online store? Etsy is a brilliant shopping platform that's used by millions. Setting up your store is simple, and when you sign up with this link we both get 40 free listings!

Worry Worksheets – Mindset & Wellbeing Worksheets for Children.

Gratitude Journal – The Daily Calm. See below:

Final Thoughts

The fear of making mistakes can be truly life limiting for many. But making mistakes is a part of life, and it's how people learn and grow.

Improving your resilience around making mistakes can help you embrace taking more risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone. This could be in relation to work or career, or on a more personal level.

When you start to take those chances, and explore other opportunities, your confidence will grow.

I totally get how paralysing it can feel, but when you begin to address the fear, it opens up so many more possibilities.

I would love to know how you managed to push through the fear of making mistakes, and the impact this had upon your life.

If this post helped or you enjoyed reading it, please share one of the images below as it really helps my blog – Thank You!

Meet Lynsey

Hey there! I'm Lynsey, a coach, counsellor, and mentor for low energy, introverted or low confident female coaches & small business owners. With over 5 years’ experience of running businesses, and over a decade as a tutor and trainer, I've learned the value of effective time management that energises you through working with your energy.

I've lived with chronic illness – ME/CFS since 2011 and since then I re-trained as a counsellor, and achieved a distinction for my MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy Practice; all while running 4 businesses! I want that for you as well & it is possible with the right support and pathway to success.

Improving your mindset, finding acceptance and developing a solution-focused approach to achieving your goals is my passion. Blending mental health support where needed, as well as a supportive space and methods to manage your work more effectively.

If you'd like to know more about working with me, you can email [email protected] or find me on socials (links in the menu)

Have you seen my online store Shop.QuietlyConquer? Find DFY templates, downloads & more!