Habit Change: How to Quit Unhelpful Habits

How to Quit Habits That Are Holding You Back

Are you beginning to think about your new year resolutions? Do you have some personal goals you're going to work towards in 2025?

If you're a small business owner / entrepreneur, are you setting yourself goals to become more focused and productive? To hit certain revenue points?

If you're currently looking ahead to the big changes you're planning in January, it's probably a good idea to have a think about some of those habits you need to quit before then!

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How Honest Are You?

Starting as we mean to go on with a big question! How honest are you with yourself when it comes to your habits, routines and attitude towards your goals?

Read through this post, then come back to this question as you prepare to swap some of those habits around.

Identify the habits that are currently holding you back in life / work. Journal around these habits. Can you identify where or how the habit formed? Were they useful back then, but now they're holding you back?

Once you have a deeper understanding of why you do the things that you do, you can think about how to implement new habit change, as well as your behaviours and thought patterns.

Below are 10 examples of unhelpful habits, with some implementation ideas to help you make the change you're looking for!

Top Habits to Quit

If you can relate to any of the habits below, know that you're in very good company!

Procrastination

to Focused Action.

Stop putting off taking action, and adapt a mindset of intentional daily action.

• Use the 5-4-3-2-1 method (5 second rule). Count down from 5, and when you reach 1, start the task immediately. I learned this hack from the brilliant Mel Robbins and it is so simple yet extremely effective.
• Break large projects and goals into 25-minute hyper-focused work sessions using the Pomodoro Technique.
• Introduce a “power hour” first thing in the morning. This time is reserved only for your most important task.
• Use the “two-minute rule” – If something takes less than two minutes, do it immediately. This is great for beating those procrastination monkeys, and encourages you to become used to taking immediate action rather than putting things off for later.
• Create a workspace that's free from distractions. Whether this is your day-to-day workspace or somewhere you go when you need to focus, ensure that it's as distraction free as possible. Declutter, close tabs, organise your files, mute notifications etc.

Negative Self-Talk

to Self-Belief.

Replace your negative and unhelpful inner dialogue with self-belief and confidence.

• Keep a “wins journal”. Record all of your daily accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
• If you're a coach, counsellor, entrepreneur or employee, create a folder of positive feedback or testimonials. When doubt creeps in, read through it to remind yourself that your unhelpful thoughts are not facts.
• Practice “thought stopping”. Say “pause” out loud when you catch any negative self-talk. It may feel weird at first, but it soon become automatic.
• Write down three things you're proud of about yourself every morning, or three things you're grateful for. It's a great way to set yourself up for the day.
• Create a personal mantra to repeat during challenging moments. Affirmations are great, and can help you see things differently. For example “I am calm and capable”.

Doom Scrolling

to Time Freedom.

Put a stop to too much social media scrolling, and take back your time and energy.

• Set specific time blocks for social media use (e.g., 15 minutes at lunch and after dinner).
• Use app timers to automatically lock social media apps after daily limits. You can limit use in lots of apps including Instagram™. Go into your profile and in settings select “Time Management” and toggle the daily limit to choose the time maximum.
• Create a morning routine that doesn't involve checking your phone for the first hour.
• Designate phone-free zones in your home, especially the bedroom.
• Replace scrolling time with a hobby. Keep art or craft supplies nearby, or a book within easy reach.

Comparison

to Inspired Research.

Comparing yourself to others, especially if your role means you're on socials a lot, can be highly detrimental to your confidence and sense of worth.

• Create a “learning log” where you document insights from others' successes. Look at it as inspiration rather than “they're so much better than me”.
• Write down one thing you admire in someone else and how you can develop that quality.
• Practice the “inspiration and action” method: for every person you admire, take one concrete step toward your own goals.

Avoidance

to Authentic Confidence

• Use the “exposure ladder” technique. List situations you avoid, ranking them from least to most challenging. Begin with the least challenging (bottom of the ladder), and work your way up to the most challenging. When working in therapy, often the fear at the top becomes less daunting due to the progress made as you move up the steps.
• Take one small step outside your comfort zone daily (e.g., speaking up in a meeting). Confidence is grown through practice – so this is a great way to show your brain that you can cope in these situations, even when feeling discomfort.
• Create a “confidence toolkit” of tools and techniques that help you feel more assured. Include snippets of positive reviews or feedback, affirmations and evidence of you achieving your goals.

Comfort Zone

to New Challenges.

Staying safe is what your brain wants. Its primary role is to keep you safe, often seeing non-dangerous situations (like giving a presentations) as life threatening. This is why the comfort zone can feel difficult to push through.

• Try one new activity each month (e.g., a cooking class, showing up online, or public speaking event).
• Set yearly or quarterly “stretch goals” that push your boundaries outside of your comfort zone.
• Join groups or communities focused on areas where you want to grow.
• Take on projects at work that require learning new skills, and embrace being a beginner.

Burning Out

to Prioritising Self-Care.

The hustle culture is unhealthy and unsustainable for many. Embrace a way of working in a balanced, manageable approach.

• Schedule rest days in your calendar for the week ahead and treat them like important meetings. They are non-negotiable blocks of time you will not be at your desk.
• Introduce a morning self-care routine that energises you and sets you up for the day. Even if time is limited, sending less than 5 minutes a day can make a big difference. For example, journaling while drinking your coffee. Or, instead of scrolling on your phone you make time for some stretches or a quick shower.
• Create a “End of day routine” for the end of each workday. This is especially important if you work from home. The lack of commute from one space to another can make it more difficult for your mind to transition from work to relaxation. A daily ritual can provide that mental trigger.
• Complete an “energy / time audit” to identify what is costing you energy, and use this to plan a more balanced weekly schedule. Make a note of this in your daily journal or planner. notice patterns, and adjust your days as needed.

Ignoring Achievements

to Celebrating Progress

Stop ignoring all of the things you have done, and those small daily wins that go unacknowledged.

• Create a “Wins wall”. Display evidence of your achievements, for example., photos, printed reviews, certificates etc.
• Or, add notes inside a jar with all the little (or big) wins for you to read when you need a pick-me-up.
• Use monthly reflection sessions to review and celebrate progress as well as plan the coming month.
• Share your wins with others, for example, with friends, peers or mentors.
• Take progress photos or documentation of your journey. This is a highly motivating visual record of your progress. It's a great reminder when you're working towards a bigger or longer term goal.

Knowledge Hoarding

to Intentional Action

As a lifelong learner, and someone who gets a huge dopamine kick out of learning, it can also become a problem. If you're always in learning mode, you may get stuck when it comes to implementing what you've learned.

• For every course or book, create an action plan with three specific tasks to implement.
• Use the “learn one, do one, teach one” method. This is a great way to consolidate what you have learned. For example, observe a mentor, then do the task. Once you've completed it, demonstrate it or teach others. It's a great way to push you through from observing / learning to actually taking action. It can be a mini accountability challenge to present your new skill within a certain timeframe.
• Commit to taking intentional action every single day. Reverse engineer your goal. Identify everything that needs to be done, and each day – regardless for how long or how big / small the step is; take one step forward.

Postponing Joy

to Being Present

Being stuck in the waiting room is not only frustrating and a waste of time, but it zaps your enthusiasm and lowers your energy. Stop waiting for the “right time”, or for things to be different before you book that trip, or do that thing you'd love to do.

• Create a daily “joy list” of small, simple pleasures you can incorporate into your routine. For example, taking a walk, reading or enjoying a lovely mug of hot chocolate.
• Take “mindfulness breaks” throughout the day. This doesn't mean those formal meditation sessions, but simply taking a moment a few times per day to stop, give your mind a rest and be present in the moment.
• Write in a gratitude journal each day. When you take the time to focus on what you're grateful for, you begin to notice more of the same. It's a great way to start and end your day.
• Book in regular “joy dates” with yourself doing activities or hobbies that you love.

Realistic Approach to Habit Change

Behaviour and habit change takes time. Some of these thought patterns and behaviors have been your “go to” for years – even decades for some of us!

Introduce new habits slowly, if you try to make too many changes in one go, it will feel overwhelming. Instead, choose one or two to begin with, and give them time – a week or so, before introducing more.

You may need to give it more time, and that's okay! Life changing habits take time, so be gentle with yourself and think of the longer term impact rather than short term growth spurts. This will be much more sustainable for you.

You can keep a habit journal, recording your growth, and adjusting where needed. A reflective journal like this can help you to monitor progress and identify any challenges that arise.

Be patient and treat it as a bit of an experiment until you feel more comfortable and settled with your new routines.

44 Prompts for Habit Change

Below you will find journal prompts relating to habit change and the 10 habits discussed in this blog. Use these to guide your reflections, and adapt to any other habits you choose to focus on.

1. Focused Action

• What task are you avoiding right now? What is causing you to procrastinate?
• What is the smallest first step you could take towards a goal you have been putting off?
• When you're focused and productive, what conditions and environment support you the most?
• What would your ideal, productive day look like, from morning to evening?
• Think of a task that you find challenging. How can you break it down to make it easier?

2. Self-Belief

• What would you do differently today if you fully believed in yourself?
• What are three challenges you've overcome that demonstrate your ability and resilience?
• If your future self could write you a letter of encouragement, what would it say?
• How would your friend describe your qualities?

3. Time Freedom

• How do you feel after spending time on social media versus spending time on activities that you love?
• What could you create or accomplish with the time you usually spend scrolling?
• What moments of your day would feel richer if you were fully present instead of on your phone?
• What could you replace scroll time with that could help motivate you each day?

4. Inspired Learning

• What quality do you admire in someone else that you'd love to see in yourself?
• How can you turn this person's success into a learning opportunity rather than a comparison?
• What unique strengths do you bring that makes your path different from others?
• How can your unique strengths and values help others who are looking to make changes in their lives?

5. Authentic Confidence

• When was the last time you felt truly confident? What contributed to that feeling? What's different from then to now
• What would you say or do differently if you knew that you couldn't fail?
• What parts of yourself are you hiding, that deserves to be expressed?
• Describe your values, and think about how your current life is in alignment or conflict with your values. What needs to change?
• When do you feel most confident? What does that look and feel like?

6. Embracing New Challenges

• What is one thing you've always wanted to try, but have been too afraid to start?
• How have past challenges helped you grow into who you are today?
• What excites and scares you at the same time, and why?
• What's the worst that could happen if you didn't succeed at that challenge? What's the best that could happen?
• How realistic are your worries about this situation? What would you say to a friend who was avoiding a challenge due to confidence? Can you apply this advice to yourself?

7. Prioritising Rest & Self-Care

• What are the early warning signs that tell you that you need to rest?
• How do you feel when you're well-rested, versus exhausted? How does this impact your work, mindset and relationships?
• What forms of rest make you feel most re-energised?
• What are your favourite things to do, and how can you include these more in your life?

8. Celebrating Progress

• What progress have you made that you haven't acknowledged yet? How can you address this?
• How would a good friend describe your growth over the past year?
• What small win today deserves celebration?
• When you look back to you at the start of this journey, what are you most proud of yourself for?

9. Intentional Action

• What is one piece of knowledge you've gained recently that you could put into practice today?
• How can you turn what you learned yesterday into action today?
• What's stopping you from implementing what you already know?
• Imagine yourself after you've hit your goals. What would future you tell you to do right now?

10. Being Present

• What simple pleasures in your daily life do you often overlook?
• When was the last time you felt truly joyful, and what created that feeling?
• How can you bring more appreciation and enjoyment into ordinary, day to day moments?
• When were you last truly present in a non-work situation?
• Take a deep breath, notice the sounds around you, listen for your heartbeat and slow down your thoughts. How do you feel in this moment?

Tools, Resources & Support

Below are some of my favourite tools and resources. Some are related to habit change as well as mindset support and improved productivity.

• Thought Shifting Workbook – This mini journal & workbook is perfect if you're looking to challenge negative thought cycles.
• Eisenhower Matrix – Included in this pack of “Anti-Procrastination” worksheets, the Get it Done bundle includes tools for goal setting, prioritising & more!
• Time Auditing Worksheet – Get to know where your time is actually going. The 1st step in claiming back your time & energy is to know what you're really working with.
• Goals to Action Planning Sheet – Easily break your big goals into smaller, actionable steps.
• Task Batching Brain Dumps – Learn how to batch your tasks with these handy worksheets + Braindumps.

Final Thoughts

Habit change and behaviour modification isn't easy. If it were, then millions of us would find life, work and achieving goals a breeze. However, that doesn't mean it's only for those who have high determination and grit.

The trick with any kind of habit change is to make it as easy for yourself as possible. This isn't an excuse to not challenge yourself – because the very act of changing your behaviour is a challenge.

Your mind and bod will rebel against new experiences, giving you those feelings of discomfort or fear.

You may be trying to change a habit that's been with you for decades. It's no surprise it's going to take a bit of time to introduce new ones!

The key is in those small, daily repetitive actions. This is where the magic lies, and how you can make changes that finally stick!

What are your thoughts on habit change, and what habits are you quitting this year?

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Meet Lynsey

Hey there! I'm Lynsey, a coach, counsellor, and mentor for low energy, introverted or low confident female coaches & small business owners. With over 5 years’ experience of running businesses, and over a decade as a tutor and trainer, I've learned the value of effective time management that energises you through working with your energy.

I've lived with chronic illness – ME/CFS since 2011 and since then I re-trained as a counsellor, and achieved a distinction for my MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy Practice; all while running 4 businesses! I want that for you as well & it is possible with the right support and pathway to success.

Improving your mindset, finding acceptance and developing a solution-focused approach to achieving your goals is my passion. Blending mental health support where needed, as well as a supportive space and methods to manage your work more effectively.

If you'd like to know more about working with me, you can email [email protected] or find me on socials (links in the menu)

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